Angry Hank
by JokeGhost77
Summary: The rampage of Hank Hill. R&R!
1. Hank Cracks

**I don't own anything here. No infringement intended. Anything related to other matters is coincidental.**

"Hello, I'm Hank Hill and I sell propane and propane accessories," is what Hank said to his next customer.

It was another busy day at Strickland Propane. After a recent propane shortage in Arlen, people have been coming to Strickland nonstop, every minute of every day. Hank had to work some overtime, not to mention he and Buck Strickland were also working hard to stop their customers from going to Thatherton. After working hard these past few days Hank was sweaty and felt like he might finally crack from pressure. He felt like his hard-pumping heart would just give out from exhaustion. And not all the customers were satisfied.

"I'm not here to chat Hank, I need propane now!" said one rude customer.

"Hurry up! This place gives crappy service!" said another customer.

"Don't worry I'm getting to you sir!" said Hank. "And you take that back! Strickland Propane offers the best service around." Hank just couldn't take anymore of this. It would probably only take a small spark to make Hank explode.

"Will you hurry up! I got a barbecue at my house in like 2 hours!" said a jerk who had been waiting for maybe 30 seconds.

"We have plenty of propane for everyone Mr. Ferd," said Hank.

"Well hurry up then or I might just cook my burgers with charcoal instead!" said Ferd.

Just then Hank stopped and angrily turned his vision to Ferd.

"What did you say there Ferd?" Hank said in an angry tone.

"I don't really see how propane is better anyway, seeing as how it takes this long to get a damn tank!" Mr. Ferd just up roared. As Hank stared at Ferd, the vein in Hank's neck started to show itself and pulse. Hank felt as though all of his anger, from all those terrible customers, that was bottled up inside him was going to burst like a soda.

Out of nowhere Hank just made a fist and punch Ferd right in the face. As Ferd got up off the ground holding his bleeding nose Hank shouted at him.

"Get the hell out of here you little b...!" Hank screamed at the top of lungs. Then Ferd along with mostly everyone else ran out of the store.

Then Mr. Buck Strickland came in. "Whoa there ol' top! Calm down!"

"Mr. Strickland I've had enough of this crap. I'm the only one working! Enrique's sick, Joe Jack's a lazy f..., and Donna's on vacation that YOU gave her!" Hank shouted to his stupid boss.

"Aw come on ol' top, things can't get worse with you around," Strickland said.

Then Hank said something to Buck Strickland that he never have to say. "I'm sorry Mr. Strickland, but I'm overworked, I can't believe I'm saying this but I need a break!"

"No way Hank! This business is still running thanks to you," Buck said.

"I said I've had enough so now I'M TAKIN A BREAK!" Hank screamed. He didn't care at all that he shouted at the man whom he formerly idolized.

"Okay, okay ol' top just go home," Buck said scared. Hank walked out (past Joe Jack sleeping on his desk) and drove his truck home.


	2. Disturbing The Neighborhood

On his way home, Hank drove past Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer in the alley (who weren't working today).

"Hey Hank you're home early!" Bill said.

"Shut up Bill!" Hank shouted of nowhere.

"Geez Hank calm down, what did you're office blow up today?" Dale said.

"Not now Dale!" Hank screamed at him too.

"Hank man why don't come out and have a dang ol' beer man," Boomhauer said.

"Guys just shut up or I'll come there and kick all your asses!" Hank shouted as he angrily walked into his house. He went into his room, got into bed, and fell asleep.

Two hours later Hank woke up and heard a door slam. Peggy and Bobby walked into the house. Bobby tried to say, "Hi da-."

"Bobby go to your room!" Hank said.

"Okay," Bobby said with no argument.

"Hank you're home early," Peggy said.

"Not now Peggy, I had a rough day," Hank said calmly.

"Oh well that's sounds sad," Peggy said.

"Yeah well. I'm the only one who's keeping Strickland Propane going," Hank said.

"Yeah sure whatever." Peggy said as if she didn't care all. "Now onto me. I am doing just great. I know that I'm a shoe-in for the next substitute teacher of the year award. All those teachers got nothing on Peggy Hill, HO YEAH!"

"That sounds great, I'm glad you're having a good day," Hank said.

"And for the best Substitute teacher 4 years in a row, I would like you to prepare everything Hank! Reading my acceptance speech, throwing a party for me, it's gonna be great…," Peggy rambled on.

"Not now Peggy I gotta-," but Hank could not get a single word into Peggy. She could not hear him. As Peggy rambled on, she wouldn't listen to Hank, and he just got angrier and angrier as he was continuously interrupted. His face turned red and his vein pulsed again.

"Dang it Peggy shut up! I don't wanna do all this, I've had enough crap at work! That's why I left work early," Hank screamed.

"Hank Rutherford Hill! Who are you? You've never left work early!" Peggy said.

"Dang it Dang it Peggy! I'm overworked and I don't need you making my day harder," Hank angrily said.

"Stop being a big baby, and feel happy for me, the important thing is I'm gonna be best substitute teacher for another year."

Then Hank just came out with it, "Peggy if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Then Peggy gasped and back up out of the room slowly feeling great senses of shock and fear. What the two of them didn't know was that Bobby's door was open slightly with Bobby peeking out of it. He witnessed the whole thing and saw his father's rage.

When Peggy walked by he quickly closed the door and huddled under the covers of his bed. He was scared to death and he didn't know what to do.

He wanted to go over to his friend Joseph's house and spend the night there knowing he would be safe from his father. Bobby didn't feel like opening the door thinking if he set one foot outside, his father would kick his ass. So he needed an excuse.

Bobby got a phone in his room and called Joseph.

"Hello?" Joseph answered.

"Joseph!" Bobby said.

"Oh whatsup Bobby," Joseph said.

"Help me!" Bobby screamed into the phone.

"What is it Bobby? Did you get stuck in your window again?" Joseph replied.

"No! My dad's lost it, he screamed at my mom! Can I come to your house and away from here!" Bobby said.

"That sounds rough don't worry you can come here!" Joseph said.

"So do you want me pack your sleeping bag?" Just then, Bobby heard an unknown voice coming from behind him. He turned around and saw Hank standing at the doorway looking really mad.

"O God, help me Joseph, help me!" Bobby said.

"What is it Bobby?" Joseph screamed.

Hank grabbed the phone and ripped in half. Bobby tried to jump out the window but he got stuck. Hank grabbed him by the legs and pulled him back in.

"I've just about had enough of you Bobby, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Hank said.

He held a hand over Bobby's mouth so no one would hear him scream. And then Hank beat Bobby senseless.

Joseph rushed over to Bobby's house and burst through Bobby's room door to see Bobby on the ground covered in scratches, and Hank standing over him.

"Oh my G-," was all Joseph could say before Hank grabbed his head and threw him out the front door like a football. Joseph ran home. Hank roared into the night sky.

"BAAAAAAAAAHHH!"


	3. Dang Ol' Man RUN!

The next day Peggy got of bed and got ready for the day. When she came out of the bathroom she saw that Hank wouldn't get out of bed. Peggy pushed Hank and screamed. "Hank get up, yesterday you were mad and now you're lazy, this isn't good."

"No Peggy I'll get up later," I'm tired.

"I see you don't care that your own wife will win another award, I have nothing to say to you," Peggy just pissed off Hank some more.

Hank reluctantly got up and slapped Peggy right in the face. She ran out of the room crying. Hank went into the bathroom for 5 minutes and came out looking bummed.

He went to the kitchen and saw Peggy sitting at the table.

"Hank, you need to calm down," she said.

"I don't need to do anything now where's breakfast?" Hank shouted.

Peggy decided to scream, "Hank what have you done to our son!" Peggy became angry after she saw Bobby lying on the floor crying.

"I don't need this crap," Hank said cooking up some waffles. He tossed some into his mouth and went outside. But before he left, he said to Peggy, "By the way I'm skipping work today."

"WHAT!" Peggy screamed before Hank slammed the front door on her. He walked into the alley and met up with Bill and Boomhauer. The two of them slowly backed away from him.

"What?" Hank said to them.

"Well Hank, I heard you scream last night and I looked out my window and saw Joseph running away from you," Bill said. "What happened last night?"

"I took care of business," Hank said. "I didn't just wallow in self-pity like you do Bill."

"Tell you what man you gone crazy Hank dang ol' don't come near me man," Boomhauer said.

"Don't piss me off Boomhauer," Hank said as he angrily stepped towards the two of them growling. Bill and Boomhauer started to gasp as they backed away from him.

"Don't take one more step Hank," said Dale who stepped into the alley looking mad.

"I saw what you did to my son, this is unforgivable Hank," Dale went on. "I would sue you but then I'd get the government involved and knowing my crimes they'd side with you. So we're gonna settle this right here right now," he finished before throwing away his cigarette and making a stupid fighting pose. "Shi shi shaw!" Dale said.

"Well Dale you asked for it. I'm gonna have to KICK… YOUR… ASS," Hank said.

As Hank walked to Dale, Dale just dropped the angry man front and screamed and ran away. "Get back here Dale BAAHHH!" Hank screamed as he ran after Dale.

Dale ran past the others. "Hank you need to calm down!" Bill said.

"Yeah man," said Boomhauer. The two held their palms to try to stop Hank. Hank roared. "Dang ol' man AAHH!" Boomhauer screamed and ran with Dale.

However Bill stayed there and screamed. Hank ran him over. He chased Dale and Boomhauer to Tom Landry Middle School. They ran into the double doors.

"Excuse me, pardon me! Outta the way man move!" Dale and Boomhauer shouted to the rushing kids. Hank was on hot pursuit of them and he beat up all of the kids in his way. Dale and Boomhauer screamed as they ran for their lives. Hank was a wrecking machine on a rampage. He beat up all the students and teachers in front of him as he chased Dale and Boomhauer through the school.

On the school stage there was Peggy Hill and a few other substitute teachers sitting down awaiting the verdict for substitute teacher of the year. Principal Carl Moss was at the podium opening an envelope.

Carl said, "And the substitute teacher of the year is -." He was interrupted.

Dale and Boomhauer came running and screaming through the backstage door. They ran right through the stage in front of everyone and jumped off and ran into the audience. Hank came bursting through the doors and stopped at the podium panting heavily.

Peggy whispered, "Hank what the heck are you doing here?"

Hank suddenly calmed down and said, "Oh I came here to watch you get you're award."

Peggy looked relieved. Hank walked up to the podium and pushed Carl off. "I have a few words to say about the new substitute teacher of the year, my wife Peggy Hill."

A man in the audience said, "No one won yet!"

"Hey shut up!" Hank retorted. "Now as I was saying Peggy Hill is the biggest b... that you could ever know." Everyone in the audience gasped.  
"She is the most annoying, self conceded, pain in the ass ever, and she's terrible at speaking Spanish."

Peggy gasped, her heart crushed, she ran off stage. Just then Hank noticed Dale and Boomhauer trying to sneak out the back door of the room.

"HEY DALE, BOOMHAUER!" Hank shouted at them as he pushed off the podium, jumped off the stage, and ran to them.

"YAAHH!" Dale and Boomhauer screamed as they ran out the door.

"BAAAAAHHHH!" Hank roared into the air and scared everyone out of the auditorium.

**A/N: I know this story was violent. Should this have been rated T or M? The plot might seem similar but no infringement intended. I felt Bobby kind of deserved that beating for everything he did on the show. Review!**


	4. Intervention

Hank Hill chased Dale and Boomhauer out of the school and back to their neighborhood. Boomhauer ran into his house and locked the door. Dale's van was waiting for him just outside his driveway . He rushed inside and found Bill in fetal positon in the passenger seat.

"How the hell did you get in here Bill?" Dale aksed.

"The door was open," Bill responded.

"Oh," Dale realized. "Well GET OUT!"

"No! If I do Hank will see me and kill me!" Bill stuttered.

"Fine you can stay," Dale said. "Now what were we trying to do?"

"We were trying to get away from HANK!" Bill said as he looked in the rear view mirror and saw Hank catching up.

Dale fiddled with his keys to find the right one.

"You think you can outrun me! I was the best lineman on our team towel manager!" Hank referred to Dale. Bill screamed like a girl.

"Oh God why did I have to get all those lock picks and keys for other houses made?" Dale regretted.

"Hurry Dale start it up, START IT UP!" Bill shouted.

"It's not helping with you shouting at me!" Dale shouted back.

"Sorry Dale," Bill quieted down.

"Here we go," Dale said happily. He put the key in and started it. He checked the rear view mirror and Hank suddenly disappeared from his view. "Where did Hank go?" Then they suddenly heard something loud on the roof of the van. Bill saw Dale's queen ant torn off and thrown on the ground.

"Aaahhh!" Dale shocked. "She was so young, I had just begun to wax her ommatidia!" Hank then landed on the front of their car. Dale revved up the wheels and drove forward and stopped. Hank went flying onto his lawn. Dale and Bill drove away.

"BAAAAAHHHHH!" Hank roared and ran to his truck, started it up, and drove after them.

"Hank's driving after us to Dale!" Bill said. "Don't you have a gun or something?"

"Right I do!" Dale said as he took it out and gave it to Bill. "Aim for the tires!"

Bill whimpered and shot the gun a few times but missed every shot.

"Oh my God give me that!" Dale said as he took the gun. "This is how you shoot you big, fat, baby!" He shot the gun about 6 times and only managed to hit a kid's balloon.

"Damn it!" Dale said.

"Uh Dale maybe you should watch the road!" Bill said. Dale turned his attention back to the road and started to scream along with Bill as the two of them drove right into a parked car. They crashed and Dale went flying out of the front window. Bill came out of the front door with a few scratches. "Hey Dale I'm okay!"

Then Hank's truck crashed into Dale's van and Hank came walking out.

Bill screamed like a little girl and ran away. Dale stood up from the ground and ran away too.

They ran around the neighborhood and ended up back at Rainey Street.

Peggy watched from inside her kitchen window as Hank continued to chase Dale and Bill.

Nancy was sitting at her table. "Oh now you have to do something about Hank sug," Nancy said to Peggy.

"I don't know my husband anymore Nancy," Peggy replied as she started to sob.

"Maybe a family intervention will work," Nancy suggested. "You could bring Hank's father over."

Peggy looked back at her. "Have you gone crazy! I'm not bringing that son of a b$#^ over. Besides he would just make things worse."

"Couldn't hurt to try sug" Nancy said. And so Peggy walked to the phone and called Cotton.

Within minutes Cotton drove over in his Cadillac and parked it terribly on Hank's driveway. Cotton exited and wobbled over to Peggy who was standing at their front porch.

"Alright where is he?" Cotton asked. "The way you described him doesn't didn't sound like my pansy son at all."

"Cotton I am not enjoying this. Just please talk to my husband," Peggy answered angrily. "He's already screamed at me and beaten up his own son."

"Well I don't like the beatin' up Bobby part but if he screamed at you then I'm liking my new boy already heh. Now where is he you four-eyed pansy lovin' b-," Cotton was interrupted by Hank's roar.

"WAAAAAHHHH" Hank screamed as he chased Dale and Bill. Dale hopped over his fence and ran away. Bill attempted to hop over the fence but his weight collapsed the boards.

"Oww uh," Bill uttered in pain. And he looked up and Hank stood 6 feet over Bill. "Ohhhh," Bill said like a little girl. Hank then grabbed Bill and started wailing on him. Punched his face, threw him to the fence, and kicked him in the stomach.

"Oh my God," Cotton said smiling. Then Hank turned around and saw his dad. He dropped Bill who landed hard with a thump and walked over to Cotton.

"What the hell are you doing here dad?" Hank angrily asked him.

"Well your wife told me you turned into an angry S.O.B." Cotton said. "And I'm delighted to hear it's true! Good job son you finally grown a pair of balls."

"Shut up dad," Hank answered.

Cotton wiped a tear from his eye. "Heh, he's growing more everyday."


End file.
